Grieving Still

Yesterday I went to a memorial service for some amazing people I knew who tragically died in a plane crash. A mom and her two teenaged daughters lost their lives and the father clings to his life in a burn unit. Tragic loss is hard any time and for anyone. But this family was amazingly gifted, giving, selfless, and committed to the Church universal. This family was at the church whenever the doors were open. This family lived in a wealthy area where most kids went to private schools--they sent their girls to public schools to ensure exposure to diversity and just to support the public school system. These parents wanted to teach their girls to give voice to the silent, food to the hungry, hope to the hopeless, and help to anyone in need. This family made sure their identity was in their actions and not just their words.

I'm struck by my lack of ability to believe this has actually happened. I haven't seen them in about six months and if I'm honest I probably haven't thought about them either. Now that they're gone I realize what an example they were to me and to everyone who knew them. I can't believe I barely noticed it before. I had hoped that the memorial service would give me some closure, but it didn't. I don't know why. All it did was stir up in me a disbelief of the fact that they are really gone and a conviction to be the kind of parent Diane was to her girls.

I wish I was that kind of Christian who didn't have to think, "why did God let this happen?" I wish I could get over that thought and be comforted by the Great Comforter. I wish I could go immediately to the knowledge that God, in his great mercy, will heal the recovering father, the broken hearts of all of the friends and family, and even me. I'm not there yet. My heart is broken and all my mind will do is wonder why this horrible thing had to happen to such an amazing family.