Back to Normal. . .For Now

Finally I think I am on the way to normalcy (although I'm sure some of you will argue that point). Between work, freelance, motherhood, and church stuff I have been SWAMPED. Whew! I have missed you friends.

I was in NYC last week and it was friggin' cold. This will sound really lame, but in my free time I went on a search for some tinted moisturizer with spf. It's summer: a girl's got to have some coverage! My hotel was just a few blocks from Bloomies so I went there first. As I walked up the stairs I saw the sea of make-up counters before me. I didn't have a clue where to start. Before I even had to make a decision I had been wooed. Our eyes met and I knew he was the one. He would be the one doing my make-up. I had hoped that we would be best friends, but now I think he was just using me. He lured me to his chair and began cleaning my face. Then he took out the very product that I was looking for and told me how beautiful I would look wearing it. He took such time and acted with such perfection. His use of the different brushes was exciting and exhilarating. With a little bit of this here and a little bit of that there he was transforming the old Jenny into something new and fresh and "soft" (I don't really know what that meant, but I wanted to be it). Then the moment came: he handed me the mirror. I would swear that angels sang and soft lights glowed around me. I looked beautiful. No wait. . .I looked &#$@ good!

And just like that it was over. I was only buying three of 20 things he said I desperately needed. His tone changed like I was his ex-boyfriend. He was uninterested and abrasive. I had broken his heart. He gave me the silent treatment as I made my purchase and left. I wanted to be best friends, but I had clearly crossed a line in not taking his advice and buying the $300 worth of product. I felt so used and abused. He said I was pretty--that my skin was flawless. He said I didn't even really need to wear all of the things he put on my face, though I was more pretty with them. He said I glowed. Now I know that was all a line to get me to buy stuff. I was deceived.

Back at home I've been wearing my tinted moisturizer with spf a few days and I don't even like it anymore. It turns my nose red and makes my face look oddly shiny. Somehow in the lights of Bloomies it really did "glow". I'm sure I could ship it back but what's the use.

I think tonight I'm going to read Psalm 139 until I fall asleep. Surely that's not just God's salespitch to hook us. God loves me and thinks I'm pretty, even without the perfect lighting at a makeup counter in a New York department store. I don't need Mr. Make-up in my life. He would probably just make me more self-conscious than I already am.

It was good to be with the church today--the people who really do love me shiny, red nose and all.